Tips to Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse
Protecting your Children online.
The most important thing you can do is to pay close attention to your children and encourage them to confide in you. They should know that you will be calm and protective if they tell you about something that has frightened or disturbed them.Teach your kids not to give out personal information such as their last name, your last name, their home address, or phone number, especially in a chat room, over a bulletin board, or to an online pen pal without your permission.
Make sure your kids know not to agree to a face-to-face meeting with someone they meet online.
Instruct your kids never to respond to email or chat messages that make them feel uncomfortable or from someone they don't know. Stress that they should show such messages to you.
Surf the Internet with your kids. If it is not possible for you to actually surf with your kids, at least talk to them about the Web sites they are visiting.
Place the computer in a public room in your home so that even when you are not surfing with your kids, you can monitor their use. Do not allow computers in bedrooms or the use of webcams.
Establish ground rules for your kids' Internet usage, including the hours they may surf and the kinds of Web sites they may visit. Post the rules near the computer.
Learn how to use parental controls and archiving features. You should be able to check your child's email account and review the sites your child has visited on the Internet.
Protect Your Family's Privacy
Read the privacy policy of the Web sites your kids visit to learn the kinds of personal information they are collecting, how it will be used, and whether it will be passed on to third parties. If a Web site doesn't post this information, email for details about their information collection practices.
Become familiar with the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), which requires Web sites that are directed toward children under 13 to obtain a parent's permission before collecting many types of information. For more information on COPPA, visit the Federal Trade Commission's Web site.
Be informed before deciding whether to give consent. Check a Web site's information collection practices before you decide whether or not to give consent. Keep in mind that you can give a Web site consent to collect information, but refuse to allow your child's information to be passed on to a third party.
You can always change your mind and revoke consent. If at any time you change your mind about a Web site's collecting your child's information, you may revoke your consent and have your child's information deleted.
Be willing to ask a Web site to delete your child's information. If you think a Web site might already have collected information from your kids, ask to see what information they have collected and request that it be deleted.
Staying Safe When Using Blogs
A blog (short for Web Log) is a website of your own, where you enter information ordered by date. It's an online diary or online journal that is shared with others online. Talk to your child about blogging. Blogging can be a great creative writing exercise for your child. Just make sure they understand how to stay safe.
Blogs should not contain identifying information that someone could use to locate the blogger or anyone he or she writes about.
Remind your child that once a blog is posted, it's out there. You can take it down, but you can't take it back.
Think twice about who may be hurt by something written in a blog. Some bloggers bully, slander, harrass and intimidate others. Sometimes they simply have not thought about the effect their private thoughts could have on others when posted for all to read.
Some children have unintentionally revealed information about their families that could lead to identity theft. Teach your child about identity theft and how to avoid it.
Help your child select an age-appropriate blog site and make sure personal information is hidden from public view. As always, check privacy policies carefully.
Read your children's blogs! Encourage their creative efforts. Children (like everyone else) are sensitive to criticism of their writing and respond readily to praise. You can guide them and protect them by being their number one reader and fan.
Finding More Information
Visit the Center for Missing & Exploited Children for more tips on protecting your children.
Tips to Protect Your Child From Sexual Abuse
The following five safety tips from RAINN focus on practical things parents can do to protect children from sexual abuse.1. Talk.
Talk often with your child and set a tone of openness. Talking openly and directly will let your child know that it’s okay to talk to you when they have questions. If your child comes to you with concerns or questions, make time to listen and talk to them.
2. Teach.
Teach your child key safety principles. For instance:
Teach children the names of their body parts so that they have the language to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.
If your child is uncomfortable or if someone is touching them, s/he should
tell a trusted adult immediately.
Let your children know that if someone is touching them or talking to
them in ways that make them uncomfortable that it shouldn’t stay a secret.
3. Empower.
Your child should know that s/he has the right* *to* *speak up if they are uncomfortable, or if someone is touching them. It’s okay to say “no” even to adults they know and family members.
4. Implement.
Implement Internet safety protocols, and parental controls through platforms such as the Google Family Safety Center. Work with older children to set guidelines for who they can talk to online, and what information can be shared. For instance, be cautious when leaving status or away messages online and when using the "check-in" feature on Facebook or Foursquare.
5. Educate.
Educate yourself about the warning signs of childhood sexual abuse. Know what to look for, and the best way to respond.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual abuse, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotlines (800.656.HOPE and online.rainn.org).
Child Sexual Abuse
When a perpetrator intentionally harms a minor physically, psychologically, sexually, or by acts of neglect, the crime is known as child abuse. This page focuses specifically on child sexual abuse and the warning signs that this crime may be occurring.
What is child sexual abuse?
Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse that includes sexual activity with a minor. A child cannot consent to any form of sexual activity, period. When an perpetrator engages with a child this way, they are committing a crime that can have lasting effects on the victim for years. Child sexual abuse does not need to include physical contact between a perpetrator and a child. Some forms of child sexual abuse include:
- Obscene phone calls, text messages, or digital interaction
- Fondling
- Exhibitionism, or exposing oneself to a minor
- Masturbation in the presence of a minor or forcing the minor to masturbate
- Intercourse
- Sex of any kind with a minor, including vaginal, oral, or anal
- Producing, owning, or sharing pornographic images or movies of children
- Sex trafficking
- Any other sexual conduct that is harmful to a child's mental, emotional, or physical welfare
The majority of perpetrators are someone the child or family knows. As many as 93% of victims under the age of 18 know the abuser. A perpetrator does not have to be an adult to harm a child. They can have any relationship to the child including an older sibling or playmate, family member, a teacher, a coach or instructor, a caretaker, or the parent of another child. According to 1 in 6, “[Child] sexual abuse is the result of abusive behavior that takes advantage of a child’s vulnerability and is in no way related to the sexual orientation of the abusive person.”
Abusers can manipulate victims to stay quiet about the sexual abuse using a number of different tactics. Often an abuser will use their position of power over the victim to coerce or intimidate the child. They might tell the child that the activity is normal or that they enjoyed it. An abuser may make threats if the child refuses to participate or plans to tell another adult. Child sexual abuse is not only a physical violation; it is a violation of trust and/or authority.
How can I protect my child from sexual abuse?
A big part of protecting your child is about creating a dialogue. Read more to learn about creating this dialogue and keeping your child safe.
- Talk to Your Child If You Suspect Sexual Abuse
- Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse
- What are the warning signs
Physical signs:
- Difficulty walking or sitting
- Bloody, torn, or stained underclothes
- Bleeding, bruises, or swelling in genital area
- Pain, itching, or burning in genital area
- Frequent urinary or yeast infections
- Shrinks away or seems threatened by physical contact
- Exhibits signs of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder
- Expresses suicidal thoughts, especially in adolescents
- Self-harms
- Develops phobias
- Has trouble in school, such as absences or drops in grades
- Changes in hygiene, such as refusing to bathe or bathing excessively
- Returns to regressive behaviors, such as thumb sucking
- Runs away from home or school
- Overly protective and concerned for siblings, or assumes a caretaker role
- Nightmares or bed-wetting
- Inappropriate sexual knowledge or behaviors
- Where can I get help?
If you want to talk to someone anonymously, call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 800.4.A.CHILD (422-4453), any time 24/7.
Learn more about being an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
